


Sometimes Courage Slips Away

by Emsalee



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: F/M, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, helen and nikola have a special relationship, nikola can't handle not being a vampire anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 06:37:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emsalee/pseuds/Emsalee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikola is struggling to come to terms with his newly found humanity and tries to take drastic measures. </p>
<p>One-shot. De-vamped!Nikola.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Courage Slips Away

**Author's Note:**

> The final piece I am transferring from ff.net. More depressing than my other pieces and tackles issues that hit too close to home for some, including myself.
> 
> Please don't read if it will trigger you; I know that some people do.

Ticking originated from the diamond flecked wrist-watch on the brunette’s left arm and resonated around the room, amplifying the tentative silence. The occupants remained poised at a standoff in the dimly lit room where the only source of light was the flickering of the lamp in hallway, stretching through the sliver of space between the timber flooring and the door. Originally blood red walls appeared to vanish in the shadows, making the room seem ominous and malevolent. The two scientists remained at an impasse and as the time ticked by, the atmosphere crackled with electricity. Helen, finally tired of the conversational stalemate, raised her voice to a controlled whisper.

“Nikola... What are you doing?”

Nikola’s sharp cobalt eyes narrowed in on the more petite and equally fashionable genius. “What do you think I’m doing? Having a tea party?”

Helen raised her hands in surrender and shifted a slight step back. “Okay, silly question.” The woman paused as she tried to think of what was the right thing to ask, while Nikola raised an elegant eyebrow.

The questioner seemed to take too long as Nikola spoke up. “So, do you have any purpose for intruding the privacy of my bedroom?” He gestured to his right wrist, “I was in the middle of something.”

“That _‘in the middle of something’_ is exactly why I invaded your room! You can’t just give up, Nikola!” Fury brightened to understanding in Helen’s icy blue gaze. “Have you been taking your medication?”

“Of course I haven’t been taking the damn pills! I actually like being able to feel and to express myself. While I’m on the godforsaken things, I can’t feel anything at all! How do you expect me to continue my life’s work when my mind is foggy and unresponsive?” His arms flailed around as he tried to make his point and the partial light glinted of the perilous silver razor.

Helen pointed an accusing finger at the sharp blade in the man’s hand. “And that’s how you’re going to ‘ _express yourself’_?!”

“Well it’s better than being in a constant spiral of torment like I’m currently in.” Nikola’s voice broke and his whole body shuddered. “I’m just... tired. Tired of everything going opposite to how I want things to. I’m sick of not being who I am, Helen. I’m supposed to be a vampire and now nothing’s the same. Being human is not something I relish. The whole lure of the harm was so tantalising and I couldn’t restrict myself any longer. I just thought that it would kind of set me free from all of this stress...”

The distress in the taller figure’s stance was hard for Helen to miss as she gradually moved towards him and rested a soft hand on the one of Nikola’s that was holding the razor blade. Nikola quaked slightly under her touch and glanced away toward his sparsely decorated walls while the hand resting on his arm slipped down to encompass his own. Unfurling the fingers that had constricted around the offending strip of metal, Helen could feel Nikola’s resolve weaken, managing to slip the blade out of his hand and place it on the nearby nightstand.

“You have to remember, Nikola,” Helen mumbled, “You’re not alone.”

Snapping his head forward was the man who had spent his entire life alone, struggling through his isolated existence with only the company of his experiments and inventions. “Do not... say that to me,” he commanded in a calm, lethal voice. Nikola’s cerulean gaze slid towards the nightstand that housed the treacherous blade. He spat with spite, “Get out, Helen. You’re not helping.”

“No!” Helen lunged for the ex-vampire just as he dived for the blade. Nikola, despite being the taller of the two, had always relied on his vampire abilities and being human left him vulnerable with his long limbs disadvantaging him. Helen, on the other hand, was skilled in hand to hand combat. The dark haired woman that had the upper hand, hooked her opponent’s arms and straddled his waist, pinning him to the floor.  Nikola struggled under the weight of the other and thrashed in an attempt to break free. Helen held her position until she felt the surrender of the body beneath her.

“Are you going to talk to me now?”

The broken Nikola Tesla hesitated before nodding his head. “I’m lucky that I have such a talent for covering up emotions, especially tears, though no one is usually around to see my weakness.”

Nikola looked up through his damp eyelashes as Helen slid off him. “Everything will be alright, Nikola,” she reassured. “We’ll get you back on your anti-depressant medication and get you some help with your problems.”

Tears fell freely from the terrified man. “I have no one to talk to... I just don’t know what to do...”

Helen wrapped her arms around Nikola’s shoulders in comfort as the man cowered into her side. “No one knows what to or not do and we just have to hope that the paths we pick find their way through the forest and emerge at the other side of the woods.”

She smoothed her hand through his electric hair. “We’ll get you back to being a vampire again, Niko.” The nickname rolled over her tongue like silky chocolate. “You just have to have hope and patience. We of all people should know hope is all we ever really have in life.”

Nikola’s glistening eyes locked on Helen’s resolute face. “Will you help me, Helen? I know it’s a lot to ask…”

Helen squeezed her arms around the crestfallen man even more. “Of course I will. What are friends for?”

“Thank you. Just… Thank you.” His words were sincere in every meaning of the word.

Silence enveloped the two centuries old beings as they huddled together in the dimly lit room. No sound but breathing could be heard as the two drifted off to sleep, holding each other close. The comfort they found in each other’s presence had been felt by either of them in decades and they looked forward to the light off in the distance. Helen and Nikola had come so far and nothing would stand in their way anymore.

Everything would be okay in the end.


End file.
